Criteria for coaching a Nigerian team according to the NFA

According to the Nigerian Football Association, a coach can only be successful if he satisfies the following criteria:

1. If the said coach has a white skin
2. If that coach is not Nigeria
3. If the coach is ready to play the scratch my back I scratch your back game
4. The said coach must be very timid and not as out spoken as a Clemens Westerhoof
5. Must be ready to have his team selected by the NFA and not a coach who would refuse this arrangement like Sampson Siasia.
6. Must be easily be induced with money
7. Must be ready to work without pay for at least 6-8 months
8. Should not be as ambitious as to defend self in the media when the NFA tries to twist facts else be sacked.
9. Should mind his own business by not fighting for players to be given unpaid bonuses
10. Must be confused enough and be ready to coach all of Nigeria’s national teams.
11. Must be ready to work in a disorganized environment where there are no basic facilities
12. Must be ready to be hired and fired at any time without compensation.